Tuesday, July 26, 2022

RANDOM THOUGHTS THIS SUMMER

If America survives Trump, it will have Liz Cheney to thank.

If it doesn't, careerism is to blame.

The cowards still outnumber the courageous.

If the Democrats survive the mid-terms and maintain control of Congress, I will send a thank you note to Justice Alito.

If they increase their margin in the Senate and render Joe Manchin irrelevant, I will send notes to the other five as well. 

And a bouquet to Clarence and Ginni Thomas.

If the right to contraception or sexual privacy or gay marriage survives Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization, I will applaud the hypocrisy of Justices Alito, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and Coney Barrett.

Because that will be the only reason it did so.

The Catholic Church will come around on gay marriage long before it comes around on abortion.

Because many priests are gay.

But none are women.

If Nancy Pelosi goes to Taiwan, I will question her judgment.

But not if she goes to Communion.

If you're American, you're sweating right now.

But not just because it's Summer.

If climate change does not kill the world, I will thank God.

Because politicians will have had nothing to do with it.

If Congress fails to pass the Creating Helpful Incentives to Produce Semiconductors (CHIPS) Act subsidizing the domestic production of semi-conductors necessary for our national defense, I will think them insane.

But not for the first time.

If Beto O'Rourke beats Greg Abbott in this year's election, I will reconsider my view of Texas.

Seriously.

If Liz Cheney survives her primary challenge next month, I will reconsider my view of Wyoming.

Even more seriously.

If gas prices continue to decline, I will thank Joe Biden.

If they don't, I will thank him anyway.

Because Joe Biden is not the cause of inflation.

If Ukraine beats Russia, I will applaud the Ukrainian people.

And the rest of Europe.

Because both will have sacrificed for freedom.

If Phil Mickelson renounces Saudi sport-washing, I will ask Jesus if it is still "easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

Because incentives should matter.

If you think only the good die young and nice guys finish last, Gil Hodges' induction into the Hall of Fame supports the first claim.

But refutes the second.

If you realize that the Barclays Center in Brooklyn is at the exact spot where Walter O'Malley wanted to build and pay for a ball park for the Dodgers in the 1950s, you know that Robert Moses is the reason they left.

Not Walter O'Malley.

And if the Mets win the World Series this year, I will stop hating George Steinbrenner.

But wonder why they did not get their own billionaire-owner sooner.

1 comment: